I’ve done the most selfish things

15 YEARS AGO

When I DECIDED to go to Fitness Nationals, I hired the right coaches, I did the work, adopted a champion mindset, and WON becoming a National Champion and PRO athlete and even featured in Fitness RX for Women magazine! 

If I had listened to everyone else’s opinions (“you’re too tall, you’ll never make it, you don’t have fake boobs”) I never would’ve achieved my goal. 

10 YEARS AGO – TODAY, December 10, 2011

This is when I did the most selfish thing ever…..I was checked into a psychiatric unit for 7 days.  I left my husband and 5 week old newborn on their own, for 7 days. 

I started crying when I went into labor with Lennox, 10 years ago, and I never stopped. 

Sleep deprivation, along with hormones, and severe post pardum depression. I was an absolute mess and I thought I might die. My daughter Lennox, who I worried about 24/7, I tried to nurse but my body never produced milk.

I remember chanting to myself “If I can get through this I can get through anything.” I also kept questioning…..  why didn’t anyone tell me I could feel this way? Why didn’t anyone tell me that I might not be able to nurse my child? I vowed that if I made it through I had to be a voice for women who suffer in silence.

I felt like such a failure, had so much guilt, and I longed for my mother, who passed away in 2006,  to see my newborn. This was my biggest rock bottom moments. I realized I was going to embark on a journey using the inner belief and mindset that had helped me win a national fitness championship and start a business, in ways those tools had never been used or tested before.   

My family always viewed me as being so strong. I was always the rock that kept everyone in order and together, especially after my Mom died in 2006.  But, I was also brought up not to talk about things like this and this triggered some deep trauma…..

But today, 10 years ago, instead of heading to a wedding, my husband took me to the ER where I spent 1 week on a psychiatric unit. —- (Today, that psychiatric unit, along with many others in our area … no longer exist —- that’s a whole other mental health topic.) 

Does that make me crazy or lesser of a person? Would I ever amount to anything after spending time in a mental hospital? 

Maybe you have a story (or excuse) you are telling yourself that is holding you back from your success? 

10 YEAR LATER – TODAY, December 10, 2021, I am thankful and I realize I was put in that situation, and many others, for a reason or I would not be the wife, mom, CEO, leader, friend, woman that I am today.  

EVEN OVER THE PAST 5 YEARS dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety (I had a 2nd daughter in 2014) I was put on a medication and GAINED 40 pounds. I felt like a fraud and an imposter. BUT, I continued on with my daily regime of exercise and eating foods that nourish because that was my strong foundation. I kept showing up no matter the outcome as frustrating as it was…. 

Doing a deeper dive and being even more honest and investing more in myself; I came off the medication and easily shed 20 pounds (now 35 pounds) and it was because I had kept up with my health & exercise regimen without fail. I also re-evaluated my priorities with my coaches and counselors for my business, health, and life. In some ways, I had to get out of standing in the way, again, of my own success for my health, business, & life goals.

“If it’s going to be; it’s up to me.” 

People often quit when they don’t see immediate results and if you simply keep showing up and doing the work, one day you will see the results compounded. Others fall into an excuse and victim mentality. I know I was a prisoner in my own skin for years, too. Drugs/Alcohol/(and even prescription medication) is/can be temporary and comes with side effects.

Personal Development is permanent and safe. 

This is why everyone should take the hard road/invest the time and resources to do the deeper work. Coaches are educated & prepared. We make talent better and show you what is possible; not matter what baggage might be holding you back.

I BELIEVE I was born a natural teacher or coach, at least that is what I have been told since I was age 2;)  But, I believe what has helped me help more people, and you most, is embracing my personal adversity into my personal power.

I am THANKFUL for all the toxic relationships, mental & physical trauma, failures, hardships, and more – for the life lessons they have provided so that I challenge myself to build my strength and provide solutions for driven women life you. 

MAKE TODAY, My 10 Year Anniversary, a day that YOU are PROUD of yourself too!

xoxo, Summer

PS- When you are ready to do the work to make long lasting mental and physical changes; reach out. I’d love to be a part of your journey!

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